The Politics of Naming Aircraft Carriers: a flat-out rant

Here’s a minor, mid-week rant that I just have to get off my chest. Kind of like those Andy Rooney riffs on 60 Minutes: “Have you ever noticed that ___?” Here goes.

Has anyone else noticed that the Republican Party goes into contortions to keep democratic presidents from getting aircraft carriers named after them? 

It’s an example of their relentless emphasis on symbolism over substance. For example, denouncing big government, but never once actually deregulating a major industry... except Wall Street/Banking and resource extraction (and those two only so that oligarchs can rape us.) Or denouncing deficits while being far more spendthrift than democrats. Or waging war on science. 

No substance? No matter! It's whoever yells loudest who is truly for patriotism, freedom and enterprise. Actual outcomes?  Forgetaboutit!

This attitude is just like earlier phases on our ongoing civil war.  Confederates obsess on symbolisms that their "blue" (Union) opponents never even notice! In this case, seriously, I doubt any Democratic politicians or activists have noted, or cared, enough for this matter of Ship-Naming to enter their perspectives!  

And yet, it is deeply indicative. Because it's not the only example. No, indeedy.

== A hand-rubbing fetish ==

Ponder this about how GOP-run armed services committees have allocated names for our top capital ships. They gave one to Gerald Ford! Unelected and unpopular and free of any accomplishments, whatsoever, other than pardoning Nixon. Are you kidding us? Really?

In contrast, Lyndon Baines Johnson, who, despite flaws, fought for and achieved the greatest advances in American rights since the Civil War, is destined to get – a destroyer.  Likewise, Jimmy Carter gets a submarine (SSN23) "because he served on one."

Oh, well, I can live with that. Indeed, I am of the opinion that no recent president should get a capital ship!

If naming a carrier for Gerald R. Ford is a pathetic joke, then naming a U.S. capital ship after the utterly calamitous and horrifically evil George H. W. Bush, who crafted today’s spectacular mess of a middle-east, utterly ruined our transition out of the Cold War by spurring and abetting Russian mafia-oligarchy, helped his cronies steal us blind, and left the nation in a shambles after just one term, is intolerable!

Clearly, this is a process utterly hijacked by the GOP leadership as a way to channel their vengeful obsessions and to avoid doing real work. 

(Seriously... one of my "name an exception" challenges to "hear/see no evil" Republicans has been to dare them to cite one positive/assertive goal that is on the agenda of the current Congressional Republican party. One. Other than the trivial and stupid Keystone XL pipeline. And ever-more symbolism crap. Go on. One. Name one, I dare you! It's all repeal this or slash that and never ever negotiate. Please, name one positive/assertive act of governance they propose. Name more than a couple from 2001-2007, when the GOP dominated all three branches of government and could do anything they pleased. You can't. And does that make you proud?)

== Aircraft Carriers used to have beautiful names ==

But let's get back to those ship names. Hannity would reply that the namings are evenly balanced between democrats and republicans!

USS John C. Stennis

Really? You actually think that will fly? “Stennis” provided balance? A dixiecrat-segregationist confederacy “democrat” who was in effect a republican. Carl Vinson? Another staunch segregationist -- who signed the Southern Manifesto. See the pattern? Confederates all.

Harry Truman? He is a historical figure… beloved of our parents in the Greatest Generation — who also adored FDR... 

...who is scheduled to also get a destroyer! (As with LBJ, what better way to ensure that, even if the dems ever regain Congress, they can't name a carrier for Franklin Antichrist Roosevelt. Even though he was (dare I repeat it) the favorite human being of the Greatest Generation.)

Indeed, I have no grudges against the Lincoln, Truman, Washington, Theodore Roosevelt. I think carriers should have stayed above such cult-of-personality-worship naming. But those aren't shameful. And there has been time for history to render favorable judgment.

And yes, democrats started it by naming a carrier after JFK... amid the highly understandable trauma after his assassination. Fine. Then let Republicans have one for their deity, Reagan.  

Great. We’re even. 

But the Ford, Bush, Stennis, Vinson, Carter, LBJ, and FDR namings were just utterly-blatant, drivel-partisan digs of puerile, playground-level immaturity. They reflect the symbolism-obsession of a party that once featured intellectual giants like Barry Goldwater and William F. Buckley.*  

So, dear Republicans, what’ve you got in mind for the U.S.S. Bill Clinton, then? A recreational-brothel-barge?

We should get away from all this imperial presidency garbage and these insipid name games. Go back to wonderful names like Independence, Intrepid, America, Ranger, Constellation... and Enterprise. 

(Note: CVN-80 may get that name! Out of fear of trekkies, I guess. And yes, Science Fiction has clearly helped us to have a respite from this example of right wing lobotomization, that has both Buckley and Goldwater spinning in their graves. You're welcome.)  

Better yet Republicans… How about you get to name things when GOP-led Congresses cease to be the laziest, least productive, and most corrupt in the entire history of the republic. (As proved by stunningly clear statistics.) Work before play.

And yes, CVN 79 will be named JFK, since the original JFK has been decommissioned   But blatantly that’s so they’ll have an excuse for a (shudder) U.S.S. George W. Bush and a U.S.S. Richard Nixon.  

And when they try to pull that, there will be revolution.

========

* And it is a badge of pride that the other side has mostly not even noticed this obsession, so far is it from their way of thinking. Oh, liberals have some word-obsessions of their own!  The FAR-left has political correctness excess that is almost 10% as maniacal as the ENTIRE-right's manias.  Yes, that crazy.