Here are my quick takes on 31 sci fi movies to expect in 2017 (as selected by Bobby Bernstein on NerdMuch):
1. Underworld: Blood Wars: Kate Beckinsale is very watchable and there are moments of irony in the Underworld series, and action. But it betrays the essence of the lycanthrope - wolfman - mythos, making them just smellier vampires. If vampires are the aristocratic monsters, and zombies the proletarians, then wolfmen have always been the bourgeoise, middle class monsters! With a mortgage to pay, a lawn to mow, kids who don’t understand him, and now the full moon is approaching and “I don’t have time for this!” Hence, I bear a grudge. Feh, but very watchable.
2. Death Race 2050: Geez, a cliché take on the cliché ripoffs of a cliché.
3. “The Discovery movie will follow a love story set one year after the existence of an afterlife is scientifically verified.” Oh, so now you listen to science? Sounds like Robert Sheckley’s classic Immortality Incorporated. (Get it.) Otherwise, it sounds interesting.
3. “The Discovery movie will follow a love story set one year after the existence of an afterlife is scientifically verified.” Oh, so now you listen to science? Sounds like Robert Sheckley’s classic Immortality Incorporated. (Get it.) Otherwise, it sounds interesting.
4. The Space Between Us - already bombing in theaters - follows a youth “raised by scientists on Mars who returns to Earth to find his father, falling in love with a street smart girl.” 90% of you know which Heinlein classic this steals from.
5. Life: Astronauts find life on Mars that tries to eat them. I suppose an eightieth interpretation of this hoary cliché might click.
6. The Ghost in the Shell movie with Scarlett Johansson (based on the Japanese manga series). Likely to be mindless garish great fun.
7. The Circle is based on the international best-seller by Dave Eggers. Eggers’ use of reverse-voice propaganda is almost as skillfully effective as Orson Scott Card at getting you to despise average citizens and hate the only thing that ever gave us privacy in the first place, or kept us free. So sure. Just watch the method of this propaganda, having the villains self-righteously rant and rant and rant and rant how virtuous they are. Once you notice the technique, it will never work as well on you, again.
8. Alien: Covenant will continue the garish, utterly illogical, but vividly watchable Prometheus alien cycle.
9. Transformers, directed by Michael Bay. The most vivid way to go deaf. The aliens who are stealing our media without paying a dime in royalties probably love this stuff and as long as we produce it, there’ll be no first contact. There’s your Fermi Paradox explanation. ETs are all 12 year old boys.
10. I don’t know why I did not want to like this series, but its sheer intelligence won me over. War for the Planet of the Apes, continues a version of this fable, this time meant for people with some thoughtfulness. Oh, but expect this round to be way overly-preachy.
11. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets: based on the Valerian and Laureline graphic novel series, is being helmed by Luc Besson. That is all you need. Luc Besson is the Zemeckis of our time. I will watch anything he does. This one looks to be way fun.
12. The Dark Tower. I like Stephen King. This adaptation of King's book The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger stars Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey. I may wait for the DVD though.
13. Iron Sky: The Coming Race. A follow up to Iron Sky, in which Nazis plot world dominance from their base on the moon. I’ll wait for the DVD. Then lock the doors, pull the blinds and wear a paper bag over my head so no one will ever be able to confirm I sat there, munching popcorn and laughing my ass off.
14. Blade Runner 2049, directed by Denis Villeneuve, starring Harrison Ford, Ryan Gosling and Robin Wright. They listed this down at 14? Seriously. You had me at “Bla-”
15. Geostorm & 16. God Particle…. yeah… well…
17. Steven Spielberg’s filming of Ready Player One, starring Simon Pegg and Mark Rylance, based on Ernest Cline’s best-selling novel should be terrific.
18. Star Wars: Episode VIII The Last Jedi: Disney’s takeover of the Star Wars series meant that the films no longer relentlessly preach evil messages in almost every scene. That plus enabled me to sit, zone out, soft-reboot at very low IQ, and thus enjoy the vividness of Episode VII: The Force Awakens.
I expect more the same from Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Little ships diving to blow up hapless big ships - or really big ships… or really, really, OMG you won’t believe how big ships! This is not what I happily expected after first seeing the magnificent Empire Strikes Back, back when I thought we’d be gifted art, fun, beauty, wisdom and more fun, all at the same time, in an epic truly worthy of our time. Instead we got years of outright propaganda for evil -- described in Star Wars on Trial -- followed by a recent return to harmless bubblegum. Sure, bubblegum is far better than evil. One learns to take one one can get.
I expect more the same from Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Little ships diving to blow up hapless big ships - or really big ships… or really, really, OMG you won’t believe how big ships! This is not what I happily expected after first seeing the magnificent Empire Strikes Back, back when I thought we’d be gifted art, fun, beauty, wisdom and more fun, all at the same time, in an epic truly worthy of our time. Instead we got years of outright propaganda for evil -- described in Star Wars on Trial -- followed by a recent return to harmless bubblegum. Sure, bubblegum is far better than evil. One learns to take one one can get.
19. The Six Billion Dollar Man. Yep, inflation. There may be fun. Indeed, the number of remakes on this list is lower than expected.
20. Replicas with Keanu Reaves. Hm, well.
21. The Blob. What was I just saying about reboots? I shouldn’t scribble these lists in real time.
23…. okay I am outta steam… I cannot slog to 31. There look to be some good things. Still. Come on. We can do way better.
